Why Does My Teenager Say "Like" So Much? An Educator Explains

Premlata Gupta, Founder, Wisdom Point

Quick answer: When teenagers say "like" again and again, it rarely means they do not know the answer. It usually means one of four things: they need more time to find the words, they cannot yet build a sentence on the spot, they are protecting themselves from being wrong, or it is simply habit. The fix is not banning the word. It is teaching students to pause and frame their answer.

Yesterday I put the worksheet away.

My Grade 10 Honors English student had read a passage that I knew would test him: dense, layered, with a writer who never says what she means directly. Instead of handing him questions to answer at leisure, I ran a rapid-fire round. Quick questions, quick answers. Some were recall: who, what, when. Some were analytical: why this word, what this image suggests, what the writer wants us to feel.

I told him he could answer in words and phrases. No full sentences needed. I wanted to see his thinking, not his handwriting.

It worked. Within ten minutes I could see exactly what he understood and what he did not, more clearly than any MCQ worksheet would have shown me.

But something else happened. Every answer arrived wrapped in the same word.

"It's like... the writer is like, angry? Like, not angry but like, she's like disappointed, like..."

Five or six times in one answer. I stopped him and said what most of us would say: "Don't use the word 'like'. It shows you're not confident in your answer."

He nodded. And used it again in the very next sentence.

Here is what bothered me afterwards. It is not just him. I hear it in almost every student I teach, across Grades 8 to 12, in every time zone. So I asked myself the question I want to ask you today: when a student keeps saying "like", is it a confidence problem, or can they not build a sentence?

Parents ask me the same thing in their own words. Why do teenagers say like so much? My child says "like" too much; is something wrong? How do I help my teenager speak confidently? This post is my answer to all three.

My honest answer, after sixteen years and a long night of thinking about it: I was only partly right when I told him it showed a lack of confidence.

What does it mean when a student keeps saying "like"?

Replace “like” with the precise thought you really mean.

Quick answer: "Like" is one of the most common filler words in speech, and it buys time. It can point to a knowledge gap, a recall gap, a language gap, a confidence gap or a habit. You cannot tell which from the word alone; you have to test it.

Linguists have studied "like" for decades. The linguist Alexandra D'Arcy traced its history in her book Discourse-Pragmatic Variation in Context: Eight Hundred Years of LIKE. It is not a new word or a lazy one; it does real jobs in speech. (Source) In my classroom, I see it doing five different jobs.

What "like" may be hiding	What it sounds like	How to test it
A knowledge gap	The answer wanders and never lands	Ask a simple recall question. If that fails too, it is understanding, not speech.
A recall gap	Fluent with options, stuck without them	Ask the same question with and without choices.
A language gap	The idea is right, the words will not come	Give a sentence frame. If the answer improves at once, it was language.
A confidence gap	Every claim softened: "like, maybe, kind of"	Say "I will not mark this. Just tell me." Watch the fillers drop.
A habit	"Like" even in easy, casual answers	Record one minute of speech and let the student count.

Here is what is happening inside the head. In a rapid-fire round, a student's working memory is holding three things at once: the passage, the question and the half-built answer. That cognitive load is real. Verbal fillers such as "like", "um", "you know" and "basically" keep the speaker's turn while the brain catches up. When "like" softens a claim ("she's, like, disappointed"), linguists call it hedging: a way to avoid being fully committed, and so never fully wrong.

Most students carry more than one. My Grade 10 student understood the passage; his analytical answers were right underneath the fillers. What he lacked was a way to begin an analytical sentence and finish it cleanly, at speed, out loud. That is a sentence structure gap first, and a confidence gap second.

What filler words sound like across subjects, and the fix

These are real patterns from my classes and our teachers' classes, with the framed answer we teach instead.

Subject	Answer with fillers	Framed answer
English: tone	"It's like, sad? Like, she's like upset about it."	"The tone is regretful, because the speaker keeps returning to what she lost."
Science: explanation	"It's like, the plant like makes food from like the sun."	"The plant makes glucose using energy from sunlight, through photosynthesis."
History: cause	"It's like, people were like angry about taxes and like stuff."	"The main cause was anger over taxes passed without colonial representation."
Interview answer	"I like, like debate because it's like fun?"	"I enjoy debate because it teaches me to defend an idea under pressure."

Notice the pattern. Each framed answer opens with a clear subject, uses one precise word (regretful, glucose, representation, defend) and gives a reason. That is what we practise.

“Like” is often a signal. Pause, frame your thought, and finish with clarity.

Three students, one pattern

Avyay, Grade 10 Honors: right answer, too many words

Avyay is the student from my rapid-fire round. When I asked him what the writer's tone was, the right answer, disappointment, was in there. It took him six "likes" to reach it.

So I tried something. I asked the same question again, but this time I said: "Take three seconds. Then start with 'The writer sounds...'." He paused. He said, "The writer sounds disappointed, because she keeps repeating what could have been." One sentence. No fillers. Exactly the analysis I was looking for.

He did not lack confidence in the answer. He lacked a doorway into the sentence.

Navya: the same pattern, a different classroom

A few days earlier, Sabia, one of our English teachers, had told me about Navya. Bright, well read, and unable to finish a spoken answer without leaning on "like". When two teachers see the same thing in two different students in the same week, it stops being one child's habit. It is a pattern worth understanding.

Sabia's observation was the one that stayed with me. Navya used fewer fillers when she was allowed to pause. The silence frightened her more than the question did. Many students fill every gap with sound because they believe a pause tells the teacher they do not know.

Chris: when there are no options to lean on

The third story came from a maths session. Chris is comfortable with multiple choice. Give him four options and he will find the right one. But when his teacher set questions with no options, only a blank space for the answer, he slowed right down.

It is a maths story, but it is the same story. Recognising the right answer among four is one skill. Producing it yourself is another, and it is harder. A student who has spent years on MCQ worksheets can recognise beautifully and still struggle to retrieve and explain. That is exactly the gap a rapid-fire round exposes, and exactly the gap that "like" fills when the student has to speak.

Three students, one lesson: knowing an answer and expressing it are two different skills, and schools test the first far more often than they teach the second.

How to stop saying "like": why banning the word fails

I said it. My student nodded. Nothing changed. That is not defiance; it is how habits work. If you remove a word without giving the student something to put in its place, the gap is still there and the old word rushes back to fill it.

It is the same principle behind my writing classroom. When I ban weak words like "very" and "nice", I never ban them without handing students a stronger word to use instead. Speaking needs the same respect. "Like" is a spoken banned word, and it needs a replacement, not a rule.

Three things to stop doing tonight

•       Stop banning the word. Replace it. Teach the pause and the sentence frame instead.

•       Stop rescuing the silence. When your child pauses, wait. Count to five in your head. Most of us jump in after two seconds, and that teaches children that a pause is a failure.

•       Stop judging confidence by fluency. A child who speaks smoothly may be guessing; a child who stumbles may understand deeply. Ask "why?" before deciding.

How to help your teenager stop using filler words: the Pause and Frame Drill

This is what I now use in class, and what I ask parents to try at the dinner table. It builds spoken English fluency for any child, whether English is their first language or their second. It takes ten minutes and needs nothing but a question.

Step 1: Ask one real question

Pick something your child has an opinion about: a film, a book, a news story, a school decision. "Was the ending of that film fair?"

Step 2: Give three seconds of silence

Say it out loud: "Take three seconds before you answer." This makes the pause permission, not punishment.

Step 3: Give a frame

Sentence frames that replace "like":  "I think... because..."  |  "This suggests that..."  |  "For example,..."  |  "The main reason is..."  |  "On the other hand,..."  |  "What I mean is..."

Step 4: Replay once

Ask for the same answer again, a little shorter. The second version is almost always cleaner, and your child hears the difference.

Parent: "Was the ending fair? Take three seconds."  Teen: (pause) "I think it wasn't fair, because the friend who helped most got nothing."  Parent: "Good. Say it in one line."  Teen: "It wasn't fair to the friend who helped most."  Ten seconds of practice, zero fillers, and a clear opinion with a reason.

Why I use rapid-fire rounds instead of worksheets

Worksheets show me answers. Rapid-fire rounds show me thinking, especially on reading comprehension questions that ask for tone, inference or the writer's purpose. When a student has to answer aloud, within seconds, I can hear exactly where understanding stops: at recall, at analysis, or at the sentence itself. MCQs are useful practice, but they let students lean on the options. Open, spoken questions take that support away and show what a student can do alone.

That matters far beyond English class. Oral exams, debates, presentations, scholarship interviews and university admission interviews all ask students to think and speak at the same time. I have written before about why high-scoring students are losing the art of conversation. "Like" is often the first sign of it.

When should parents look for help?

•       Your child understands the work but cannot explain it out loud.

•       Fillers appear in presentations, oral exams or interviews, not just casual chat.

•       Your child avoids speaking in class or says "I know it but I can't say it".

•       Written answers are strong but spoken answers fall apart.

•       Your teen says "like" so often in an oral exam or interview practice that the answer gets lost.

How Wisdom Point helps

Our online public speaking classes for kids and teenagers teach students to pause, frame and finish an answer, with steady work on articulation, oral communication and spoken English. Our English Language Arts teachers, working as one-to-one online English tutors, build the analytical vocabulary that makes spoken answers precise. Families come to us for communication skills classes, ELA tutoring and interview preparation. Every programme starts with an assessment that separates knowledge gaps from language and confidence gaps, so we work on the right one. Classes run one-to-one across the USA, UK, UAE, Singapore, Australia and Malaysia. Read more about why speaking is the real global edge for students.

Frequently asked questions

Why do teenagers say "like" so much?

Teenagers use "like" to hold their turn while they search for words, to soften an answer they are unsure of, and out of plain habit. Linguists call it a discourse marker. It is rarely a sign of low intelligence, but heavy use can signal that a student has not practised organising thoughts out loud.

Does saying "like" mean my child lacks confidence?

Sometimes, but not always. "Like" can signal hesitation, a gap in vocabulary, difficulty building a sentence on the spot, or simple habit. Give your child a few seconds of silent thinking time and ask for a full sentence. If "like" disappears, the issue was time and structure, not confidence.

How can I help my child stop saying "like"?

Do not ban the word; replace it. Teach a comfortable three-second pause and give your child sentence frames such as "I think... because..." and "This suggests...". Practise for ten minutes a day with low-stakes questions at home.

Is saying "like" bad in exams and interviews?

In written exams it rarely appears, but in oral exams, presentations, debates and admission interviews, frequent fillers make a strong answer sound uncertain. Examiners and interviewers judge clarity as well as content.

What is the difference between recognising an answer and recalling it?

Recognising means choosing the right answer from options, as in multiple choice. Recalling means producing the answer yourself with no options. Recall is harder, and it is what open questions, essays, oral answers and interviews demand.

My child says "like" too much. Should I worry?

Not on its own. Many confident, capable teenagers say "like" often. Worry only if the fillers stop your child from finishing answers in class, oral exams or interviews. If they do, practise pausing and sentence frames at home, and consider structured speaking practice.

Can public speaking classes reduce filler words?

Yes. Structured speaking practice teaches students to pause, frame an answer and finish a sentence cleanly. Fillers usually reduce once students have a reliable way to start and end their answers.

So, why do teenagers say like so much? Is it confidence, or can they not build a sentence? After yesterday, my answer is: usually both, and the sentence comes first. Give a student a doorway into the sentence, and confidence walks through it behind them. That is how teenagers learn to speak confidently: not by being told, but by being shown how. Avyay did not need to be told to be confident. He needed three seconds and five words to start with.

Does your child know the answer but struggle to say it?

Book a one-to-one speaking and reading assessment. We will show you whether the gap is knowledge, language or confidence, and how to close it.

Book an assessment on WhatsApp  |  Call or WhatsApp +91 82405 56421  |  www.wisdom-point.org

About the author

Premlata Gupta is the Founder and Academic Director of Wisdom Point. She teaches advanced English Language Arts for Grades 9, 10 and AP, coaches public speaking, has more than sixteen years of experience in reading, writing and communication training, holds TESOL/TEFL certification, and leads a team of over 40 teachers. Read more about Premlata.

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